Anatomy of a Run

This morning, I ran nine miles to close out week 4 of marathon training. 12 weeks left for those of you counting along at home. Here's a breakdown:

Mile 1
Feeling guilty. Ella was upset that I was leaving to run because, "I just ran yesterday." Thinking about turning around to... I don't know what. Suddenly panic because I don't have my cell phone (I never have my cell phone when I run) and what if there's an emergency? What if one of the children is hurt? What if one of the children needs to go to the ER and no one can reach me? I should really go home and at least get my phone and possibly also apologize to Ella for explaining that when she whines about me running, it makes me feel guilty. Except, I can't stand the thought of turning around to run back home (which sort of begs the question about the eight miles ahead of me). End up deciding I'll probably forget all about feeling guilty in another mile.

Mile 2
Hey, this Eminem song sort of makes me think about running. Wait--this song is about an abusive relationship. It's probably too early in my run to be getting delusional.

Mile 3
This chocolate gel tastes almost exactly like warm chocolate pudding.

Mile 4
Almost halfway. Hey--this Pink song sort of reminds me about running too! Yep, definitely getting delusional. That runner dude without his shirt on is pretty cute. Why do the cute, shirtless running dudes always have to be so damned fast though?

Mile 5
Long-distance running is a stupid hobby. I need to find something that involves sitting on the couch eating bon-bons. I'm built for that.

Mile 6
Seriously super-fast guy on the bike--could you share the freaking path?

Mile 7
Oh good. Another biker trying to kill me. And my mom is worried about homicidal maniacs hiding in the woods. It's way more likely one of these bikers will take me out.

Mile 8
What is the National Guard doing out here? How much would I have to pay that National Guard guy playing on his iPhone for some water out of that Gatorade tub? Probably nothing, right? Isn't the National Guard *supposed* to help people in dire situations (like a crazy girl out for a run in 90-degree heat who has run out of water)?

Mile 9
Okay, if this nine-mile run sucks THIS bad, how the hell am I supposed to run 20 miles in just a few weeks?

Several Hours Later (in zen-like state created by running very far--which also might have been heat stroke)
That run this morning was pretty great. Ten miles should be a piece of cake!