100 Things and Other Miscellaneous Tidbits

Apparently, February 5 is the 100th day of school. Ella's teacher (who I should note does NOT have children) has decided we should glue 100 "things" onto a poster board in some sort of design. Okay, fine. But that's not all. We also have to count out 100 small snacks for Ella to bring to school.

So, cute idea, I guess. And a good opportunity for the children to practice counting, I guess. But who does Miss C. think is REALLY going to end up doing these two projects? I'm all for parent participation in their child's education. I consider myself a pretty involved mother. But honestly--a lot of this 100 things BS seems like busy work for ME. And believe me, I've got plenty enough busy work to keep me busy for the long haul.

Yesterday I went to Target (a.k.a. my happy place) and bought poster board and stickers (my clever idea for getting around the mess of gluing 100 items). When I got home from work, we got started. I traced out the words "I [heart] school!" in big bubble letters as the design that Ella would fill with stickers. And passed the project over to her. For the first five minutes, she was engaged. She insisted she did not WANT or NEED my help. I thought to myself, Ah, this first experience with homework is going better than I expected. That will teach me to be so cynical. I struggled with my inner perfectionist, trying to resist the urge to add a sticker here or there to fill out a letter or shape. The project was under way!

Yeah, right. About 22 stickers into this effort, Ella had decided she was DONE. It was boring. She didn't feel like doing it. She wanted to cut. She wanted to glue. And she didn't want to do either of those things in connection with this project for Miss C. (I had suggested that she cut shapes and glue them onto her poster board as a break from stickers.) I assured her we could work on it some more tomorrow, which prompted a wave of anxiety about finishing it in time and about what would happen if she didn't turn it in.

And this, ladies and gentleman is why I think it's ridiculous to send homework home with a five-year-old. Ten minutes into the project, and we went from, "MOM! I don't need your help. Work on your own project." to "I don't want to do this. Why don't YOU do it?"

Sigh. If I'm absent the next couple days it's because I'm fastidiously applying 78 stickers into a pattern on a piece of poster board. Good times.

Meanwhile, we've sort of half-assedly started to potty-train Sadie. This effort involved putting her in underwear on Sunday afternoon. And then quickly reverting back to diapers on Monday when my father-in-law came over to watch her. Yeah, we've got this potty-training thing down cold. I just don't have the energy for it.

Anyhow, Monday afternoon, Sadie decided it was time for her to use the potty. She shut the door in my face insisting that she needed privacy. I told her she was too little for privacy, but she insisted that she was not. I see--the mommy has to go to the bathroom with the door open and people walking in and out, but the two-year-old gets *privacy*. Makes perfect sense to me.

In other news, Ella asked THE question this morning at breakfast. To wit: How do you make a baby? Sigh. Dean said something about being married and having a husband, but that didn't clear things up for Ella, who replied, "Yes, but HOW do you make one?" Honestly, I'd tell her a G-rated version, but I'm not sure what I can tell her that won't be an embarrassment when she repeats it at school. Especially not after last Christmas when I told them how a baby gets out of its mommy's belly (their version of it involved someone cutting open a mom's belly, and while that does happen sometimes, I thought the truth would be less frightening), and the girls spent the holidays screaming about baby Jesus coming out of Mary's....well, you know. Yes, we're doing wonderfully in Catholic school. Thanks for asking! That's not even mentioning Sadie's announcement that she is going to marry a girl (which is fine by me but is not an idea I expect would be welcome in Catholic school). Of course, Sadie is only two, and the girl she wants to marry is Snow White, so we won't go jumping to any conclusions just yet.

Finally, in this episode of "Inappropriate Gym Behavior," Dean reports that there was an eight-year-old child wandering around the crowded cardio room last night, apparently sans parent. The child in question randomly hopped on and off various exercise machines and just generally made a nuisance of herself. Now, children 12 and up ARE allowed to use the machines with parent supervision. But an eight-year-old.... Really, that's a safety issue to my mind.