The Camping Trip that Wasn't

Have you ever packed for a camping trip with kids? I had forgotten what a process it is. We started way too late, too, waiting until Friday morning to even think about preparing. Since I was working, Dean was responsible for juggling the kids, doing the shopping, and packing the 850 things necessary for a successful weekend camping trip with two kids under the age of seven.

(If only it had taken us a smidge longer to get out the door Friday afternoon...)

After packing the car to its maximum capacity (I have no idea how we ever camped with the kids when we had our little Honda Civic), dropping the dog off at the dog-sitter, and starting the all-important movie on our brand-new, dual-screen DVD player, we were on our way to Wisconsin for a weekend of camping fun. It was hot as hades on Friday, and I expressed concern over the fact that it was too hot to be outside long enough to pump gas into the car, but we are totally badass, so we didn't let a little thing like heat stop us. Nor did we stop to worry about the fact that the mosquito populations are out of control this year. Heat schmeat. Mosquito smosquito. After all, Dean was ALMOST an eagle scout.

So we drive. And just about the point that the movie had ended and the kids were starting to ask whether we were there YET, our friend Crazy Jim (who really isn't all that crazy anymore, but let that be a lesson to you all that college nicknames will stick, and you'd be better off being the one everyone calls "Sensible Sam" or something like that) called to tell us his family had arrived at camping to a trifecta of camping badness:

1. Mosquitoes thicker than CJ and family (who are seasoned campers) had ever before witnessed. Not to mention mosquitoes buzzing in eyes, ears, and nose.

2. The swimming lake (which was going to be our salvation from the wicked-hot temps) was closed due to e-coli.

3. A storm was brewing, and there was a tornado watch in effect.

Long story short, the camping was called on account of crappy conditions. Camping with kids is hard enough (seriously, take everything that is hard about parenting and subtract anything that makes parenting easier--like TV--and you've got camping with kids) without a trifecta of camping evils. (This is where I wish we'd been a bit slower to pack and leave for camping that day because the other two families we were meeting weren't even halfway to the camping destination and were able to turn around no worse for the wear.)

What could we do but roll with it? We had a two-hour drive under our belt and another two-hour drive to get home. So we stopped in Lake Geneva, where we popped into a toy store for some little souvenirs to soothe upset little girls (who really don't like camping all that much to begin with but who were devastated when the trip was called), then had the world's worst Mexican food (seriously bad!!) before heading back home to pick up our dog and call it a night.

On the bright side, the dog-sitter LOVES Moe and can't wait to watch him again. And Moe was as happy as could be about our early return. He was also pleased to join us for the fake camping (aka BBQ) we did the next day with all our camping friends, which at least enabled us to eat all the hot dogs and potato chips we'd all purchased for the camping extravaganza.

Good times.