The Latest in My Eternal Quest for Balance

Things are changing. I've hinted here in recent months that I had big changes in the works, but here is the actual news: At the beginning of November, I will be shifting to part-time at my current job. I guess now that I've spoken to HR about the shift (ever the arduous task), it's official. Or as official as things get around here. But before you get all excited about all the free time I'm going to have on my hands (ha!), I should note that I'll still be working full-time. I'm just cutting back my hours at my "real" job and adding hours at my "freelance" job. Instead of working four days a week at my "real" job and two nights at my "freelance" job, I'll be working three days a week at my "real" job and two days a week at my "freelance job" (plus another night?). This basically amounts to less time on the road (my commute sucks big-time lately, but it's mostly temporary, construction-related suckiness) and also gives me the opportunity to take the girls to school two days a week and pick Ella up two days a week (Sadie gets out at 11-something, so I won't be able to pick her up as a general rule). What we're after here is more flexibility; a bit more time at home to keep the flow of homework, extracurricular activities, and laundry/cleaning under control; more time with the girls; and fewer days where I'm working at my real job until 5 only to start working my freelance job at 6:30 (an unavoidable situation, for the time being at least, that forces my children to question who their mother is).

Being a working mom is a tricky beast. On the one hand, I know that I am not cut out to be a full-time stay-at-home mom (even if we could afford that option, which we can't, so it's pretty much a moot point). I am damn good at what I do. And I am a better mother when I feel personally fulfilled. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. (Don't even get me started on the whole "I don't want someone else raising my kids" argument against working outside the home, as it irks the hell out of me.) However, it is also impossibly difficult to work four days a week (and two nights a week), commute eight hours a week, drive people to soccer practice and dance, run (mandatory), have time with the kids, have time with the husband, and keep some semblance of sanity, and a relatively clean house. I am hoping this new plan will help us all achieve a little balance. I'm honestly not convinced that it will, and I'm worried because it actually means more days (but hopefully the same amount of hours) for the father-in-law as I'll probably need him on Fridays now too. A lot is still up in the air, which is something I hate (I don't do well with uncertainties), but fingers crossed that this will be a change for the better--for all of us.