Marathon Week To-Do List

1. Check Sunday's weather forecast.
2. Try on potential marathon outfits multiple times in an effort to find one that does not make me look fat (which the husband seems to think will be hard because the fat thing is all in my head, apparently).
3. Check Sunday's weather forecast.
4. Look at training log and try to figure out percentage of miles that I didn't actually run versus percentage of miles that I did run. (This will be tricky since math isn't my strong suit.)
5. Check Sunday's weather forecast.
6. Start assembling everything I will need for race day. This will necessitate going back to #2 above.
7. Check Sunday's weather forecast.
8. Search for stories on the Runner's World forum about people who DNF (did not finish) their first marathon and compare their training to mine.
9. Watch Spirit of the Marathon again to quell insistent voice inside my head that says I did not train enough. Try not to bemoan the fact that my marathon pace is probably closest to that of the old guy.
10. Calibrate my stupid #^#^@^*%&%&$ Garmin, which now seems to be off by a few tenths of a mile in my favor (meaning it has me running slower than I actually am).
11. Look back over Garmin data to see paces for long runs over the past 16 weeks and how they compare to marathon pace. Realize that this is stupid because the #^#^@^*%&%&$ Garmin is not #^#^@^*%&%& accurate.
12. Acknowledge that stupid #^#^@^*%&%&$ Garmin is not going to be a reliable measure of pace on race day.
13. Wonder why on earth my knee hurts NOW when I've barely been running.
14. Consider whether sore knee is a legitimate excuse to bag this whole thing and take up bowling.
15. Ice knee just in case I decide it's not a legitimate excuse to stay home on Sunday.
16. Carb load.
17. Check Sunday's weather forecast.
18. Acknowledge that the weather will be what it will be regardless of how often I check the forecast.
19. Check Sunday's weather forecast. This time compare the forecast across various sites to see how they differ.
20. Contemplate why I got myself into this mess in the first place.

I personally think that people in their final week of taper should be forced onto an island somewhere together. Normal people should not be forced to interact with the likes of us during race week.