When Did My Life Become Such a Train Wreck?

I am stressed. Actually, that's not a fit descriptive word to describe what I am right now. I'm not sure one single word can do the trick, so here are several: stressed, overwhelmed, frazzled, emotionally strained, tired, irritated, annoyed.

First, I'm coming off a weekend that, though fun, did not leave one, single moment for sitting. Between the pumpkin patch, a 5K (more on that in a minute), a birthday party (for Ella), a breakfast outing with my brother, gymnastics, swimming, a playdate, and several hours worth of work, our weekend wiped me out. Add to that the fun of coordinating my brother's public aid application and his social security disability application, plus working full-time, working part-time, trying to find time for running, and taking care of my two children, and you get the words above that describe my current state of being. To add to the fun, I have a deadline this week for the world's most annoying project.

Three weeks ago, I volunteered to chaperone Ella's class field trip to the pumpkin patch. I was one of the lucky parents to be chosen. But I can't freaking go because I'm nearly out of vacation time after taking so much time off to be at the hospital. Ella was so excited that I was chosen, and when I told her I couldn't go after all, she was clearly disappointed. So add guilt to the list.

Don't get me wrong here: the stuff I'm doing for my brother--it's all stuff I volunteered to do. If it's a way for me to help out, I'll do it all no matter how busy the rest of my life is. That's priority #1 as far as I'm concerned. But it would be nice if there was some way for me to put some of the rest of my life on hold. I feel like my life is off the rails. And there's pretty much no way to fix it.