Mission Impossible

So, with the marathon poll set to close soon, it seems the majority of my readers (those who bothered to vote, anyway, though I suppose it's possible I only have six total readers?) thought I should go for the marathon. The other two (or one--I think someone voted for two separate choices, as was their wont) voted that "Nancy" should be at home with her family like the good lord intended. Now, that was actually included as a joke response. But.... I think it's more on target than signing up for the marathon was. It's clearly too late to do anything about it now and not training/racing will mean forfeiting $125 in race fees. Still, I'm starting to think this is Mission Impossible.

Here I am on a Tuesday night. I "worked" last night, though there wasn't any actual work to do. I am working again tonight and have been busy all evening. Ella wanted me to play Tinkerbell dolls with her earlier, and I did. But I had to stop playing after 15 minutes so that I could sign in to work. Having a million files waiting to be proofed while I'm trying to read bedtime stories and do all the other things that are required at bedtime (god forbid Ella should let Dean do these various sundry bedtime tasks) makes me crabby, which makes me impatient, which then makes me feel guilty once the girls are asleep.

So tomorrow was supposed to be the one evening this week when I got to the gym. I typically run on my lunch hour (and let me tell you, it's way fun to try to squeeze in three miles plus a shower on my lunch hour--key word being "hour"), but it's not enough time to get more than three miles in. Thursday nights are out because Ella has swimming. And I work the other two nights. But now, I feel guilty about even *considering* leaving for the gym tomorrow night before the girls are in bed (about 8:00 lately, it seems). If I wait until 8:00 to leave for the gym, then try to get five miles in, I'm not home until later than I would like. And then there's no downtime.

Do you see where I'm going with this? At the height of marathon training, I'm going to have anywhere from a 7-mile run to a 10-mile run to fit in during the week. And that's not even considering the weekend long run, which is going to be something like 10 to 20 miles, depending on the week.

In addition to the demands of this running schedule, there is still work to consider (both jobs). And the fact that this house is a disaster on a regular basis. You should see my bathroom right now! Yuck!

And that's not even considering the children, their needs and demands, and the guilt factor of doing anything that takes me away from them during my nonworking hours and during their nonsleeping hours.

Sigh. What have I gotten myself into? Also, can someone please explain why men don't seem to feel the guilt that women do?