A Mom's New Year's Resolutions

I know most people typically make their New Year's resolutions after New Year's. In all honesty, I hadn't been planning to make any resolutions this year (though finishing the marathon without dying does seem to be an approporiate resolution for a mom foolish enough to have signed up when she can't even get 20 miles a week in!). But it occurred to me yesterday that when it comes to motherhood, I DO have a few resolutions that I'd like to fulfill this year.

1. Take a shower or bath--from beginning to glorious end--without someone knocking on the door because they need to use the bathroom.

1A. Since #1 seems relatively impossible to attain, I'll add a 1A: Buy a new house that has more than one bathroom. Four or five bathroms should do it.

2. Make it an entire week without having to clean a puddle of pee from the floor.

3. Enjoy 24 full hours (and this does NOT include time spent sleeping) without whining of *any kind* from *anyone*. This might require duct tape, but I'll do what I can to keep these resolutions!

4. Experience a FULL week of uninterrupted night's rest--no calls for water or missing pacifiers or noise for the sake of noise. This shall take place between the hours of 10:00 and 6:00 (which makes this impossible to attain as well since my little buggers particular enjoy the predawn hours).

5. Keep a frog alive for more than a few weeks (poor Jumpy died on Saturday after a Friday water change).

6. Head out for even ONE run without someone crying, clinging to me, complaining, or otherwise making me feel guilty about leaving the premises for a measly hour.

7. Make one dinner that everyone eats without complaint. Caveat: It can NOT be mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, pizza, or pasta.

8. Make it through an entire week of evening meals without spilled milk--which invariably happens just as I've FINALLY had a chance to sit down.

9. Visit the grocery store just ONCE without having to pick up a bag of pretzels or a box of granola bars to open while we shop because the children are so hungry and whiny that they can't wait until we get home.

10. Make it out of the house just one time without having to bring a menagerie of stuffed animals, books, and purses, which no one can then be bothered to bring back into the house upon our return.