Sick

The girls and I have had a bizarre cold for nearly two+ weeks now. Mine (with which I am most intimately familiar) keeps morphing--never quite a real, actual cold with all the symptoms. Some days it's a massive sinus headache. Other days it's a sore throat. I dunno. Mine might actually be allergies.

Sadie has been waking up for nearly two weeks now with crusty eyes. She has a runny nose--sometimes. She has a cough--sometimes. She felt like she had a fever on Sunday. And it almost seemed to me like she had a fever today. (And yes, I still sent her to daycare and didn't even bother to check and see whether she actually had a fever or just felt warm. Add it to my list of sins for this week.)

Ella is somewhere in between Sadie and me. She might have allergies. I don't know. Both girls complained about their ears hurting on Saturday. Did I take them to the doctor? Nope. I keep thinking about taking them. But this week is sapping all of my energy. It's all I can do to keep our normal schedule (our new normal schedule, I should say) intact without trying to add in trips to the doctor for ear infections that probably wouldn't be treated anyway (the golden rule these days seems to be no antibiotics for kids under 2...). If Sadie is still feeling poorly on Friday, I'll take her in then. I've taken so much time off this week and have so very many projects right now (I have SIX books right now. SIX. That is a whole lot of books. A whole, whole lot) that I just can't squeeze a doctor's appointment in until Friday.

But anyway, all our various symptoms aside, this two-week, everlasting sickness is the perfect metaphor for this week. This week has been so bad, I can't even believe that it is ONLY Wednesday. I'm hanging by the thinnest of threads here, people.

At least yesterday when I picked Sadie up from daycare she was sobbing in someone's arms rather than all by her lonesome. This made me feel a tiny bit better. The report is that she is fine in the morning but flips after naptime. She was hysterical, though, when I dropped her off yesterday morning.

This morning, she started crying when we pulled up in front of the school. I feel like I'm torturing the poor child. This experience is sucking the light out of her. Or, maybe I am an idiot and didn't realize that even with our nannies, she was a crying, screaming mess all day. (Guys, if you're out there, you'll have to tell me whether Sadie spent a great deal of her days with you crying....) Sadie cried when I passed her to Miss Idolina, but she did actually seem to have quieted when I walked toward the door and left. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this and am SO SO grateful that I'm home with her on Friday.

It does sound, though, like maybe it's a good daycare. I really don't know. Yesterday they used food coloring in ice cube trays. Later this week, they will play with the colored ice cubes in what they call a "sensory experiment." That all sounds pretty nifty, but if your child is too grief-stricken to participate, it doesn't do anyone much good.

On the other hand, I'm not feeling much of a bond with the teachers at this point. They seem unfazed by the crying, which is a good thing, I guess. I mean, certainly they've seen this before. But I've gotten so used to the individualized attention the girls have gotten with our nannies, and I'm just not feeling like I'm getting the kind of information I want about Sadie. I want a blow-by-blow of her day. Tell me, please, exactly how many minutes she spent crying today versus how many minutes she spent actually playing. Has she smiled at all today? Has she laughed at all? Was there any point in the day where she seemed like she was enjoying herself?

The support staff--the ladies at the front desk and the assistant director--also don't seem very warm or friendly to me. I'm not sure if it's because I hate that place so much right now because of what it's doing to my baby or if I'm actually getting the cold shoulder. Maybe they're not morning people? When we had Sadie and Ella at Cradles, the director seemed so interested and involved with the kids there. I'm not getting that vibe from Miss Barbara, the assistant director at Concordia.

In the meantime, Ella comes home so freaking thirsty from Kid Care, and it finally occurred to me to ask her whether or not they give her anything to drink. She reports that they have lemonade but that she doesn't like lemonade. I had to explain that all she needs to do is tell them that, and I'm sure they'll give her some water. But seriously? If Ella can't figure this out on her own, I'm not sure Kid Care is enough supervision and interaction for her.

In short, we were doing fine with the nanny thing. We had a string of very good nannies (and only one bad one), and the girls seemed happy. Sure, our current arrangement is cheaper. But I'm not sure I can put a price on Sadie's happiness (I'm not as worried about Ella--she's barely in Kid Care for two hours a day). I may need to seek out a new nanny. I'm not sure how much longer I can wait for the daycare situation to improve. If I do, I am definitely looking for someone who can do some light cleaning (laundry, dishes, etc.) while Sadie is napping. Know anyone?