That's What Girls Are Made Of

Does anyone remember that silly little rhyme about how boys are made of puppy dog tails and some other such nonsense and girls are made of.... Oh hell, I can't remember what girls were made of, but it was something frilly, I'm sure. Oh, here it is. It's sugar and spice and everything nice. Whoever wrote that hasn't chatted with Ella lately!

Silly nursery rhymes aside, people have certain expectations about daughters. This is probably also true of sons, but since I don't have one of those, I can't speak to it. In any case, one of the things I'm nearly certain that mothers all over the world think about when they give birth to (or adopt) a girl is the clothes. This may not be true across the board, but I'll go on record as stating that I am NOT a shopper (certainly not a shopper in the sense that, say, my mother-in-law is). But even so, I was not immune to the thought that taking my girls shopping for clothes would be a fun bonding experience. Snort.

Last year, Ella was too young for clothes shopping and just grew impatient. But I figured this year would be a different story (at least I was right about that part). I decided I'd take each girl shopping with me *separately* for a few new school outfits so as to have some special one-on-one time with me. This amounted to a Target trip with Sadie, only to turn around, drive home, drop Sadie off, and pick up Ella.

So, Sadie first. This was actually pretty hilarious. We walk into the toddler department (wee little Sadie is still swimming in a 2T). She points to a cute dress and asks if she can have it. Sure thing. I ask her to choose which color she wants it in (pink, of course). Next, she points to a summer dress and asks for that one. I tell her it's for warm weather, and she easily moves on. She picked out a skirt, a shirt, and a dress with minimal assistance from me. Oh, and a Tinkerbell shirt that she absolutely did not need but that she HAD to have. We were done in 10 minutes. Sadie has very definitely opinions about what she likes (skirts, dresses, and anything pink or princess), but she's QUICK about it. She's my kind of shopper. [I should note that Sadie had an absolute fit this morning because she wanted to wear her new skirt and was told it wasn't "ready" yet. But really--I'd like her to wear it to school once before she destroys it.]

Then Ella. Now that she is four and has very, very definite opinions of what looks good, I figured we'd have a blast shopping for her clothes. But I forgot one very key thing: We have *completely* different taste. Completely. She picks out a bunch of things to try on, and we head to the dressing room. Ella is extremely tall for her age, so she's in a very strange never-never land when it comes to size. A 6 in a pair of pants is too big in the waist. But a 5 in a dress is too short. And she definitely needs a 6 in tops because she has such a long upper body.

Anyhow, Ella tries on a blue plaid skirt (which is cute) with a purple plaid shirt (also cute) and declares it the perfect outfit for her welcome tea at school. But the thing is, it does NOT match. Silly me, I decide to point this out to Ella. She gets furious. "You SAID I got to pick." Oops.

The other problem is that once your girl child is in sizes 4 to 6, stores want them to start dressing like a mini Britney Spears. There's lace and spandex and tight leggings and those long empire-waist shirts that make everyone look pregnant. And don't forget the sequins--there are sequins and glitter on everything. There's mini skirts and halter tops. There's Hannah Montana-themed clothing, along with Jonas Brothers T-shirts. And, for a minute, when Ella spots a Jonas Brothers shirt and says, "Oh, that's the Jonas Brothers--Riley really likes them" all I can think is that she sounds just like a preteen. And acts just like one too. How the heck does she know about the Jonas Brothers? Isn't she too young for boy band nonsense? I mean, her 15-year-old cousin likes the Jonas Brothers! My dad once told me that Ella is going to keep us on our toes because she is always going to be a few steps ahead of where we think she should be. And damned if he wasn't right!

We ended with shoes, which I should have known better than to attempt with Ella in tow. I have very definite opinions about shoes, and for a while, I determined whether or not I might want to date someone based on the shoes they were wearing when we met. Shoes are important. Of course, Ella wanted the sparkly, glittery, dress-up shoes that look like something out of the Wizard of Oz, but they didn't have them in her size. She ended up with black sueded shoes with blue flowers. They're cute but definitely not MY style. And I don't think they go with one of the dresses (a maroon cordoroy dress with brown flowers) she got, though Dean claims that black goes with everything.... Sigh.

I did once have visions of my cute little girls dressed in all sorts of hip clothes. But the reality is that now that they can dress themselves a few things are happening: A) They don't like the same things as I do. B) They get mad when I try to point out that things they are wearing don't match. C) Sadie is always filthy within minutes of getting dressed, so she always looks unloved and uncared for. D) They like bows, lace, and pink a lot more than I ever did or ever will.

I guess this must have been how my mom felt when I told her, at age five, that I flat-out refused to wear any more dresses ever again.

The other part of this, the bigger part, is that Ella is a teenager well before her time. The rolled eyes, the attitude, the "WHATEVERS." And the BOYS. We were at her little boyfriend's house on Sunday night, and as we were leaving, Ella shouted to M, "So when are you going to marry me?" I mean, really! They've been together for a year now. Does this boy have commitment problems or what?? I'm not sure whether I should be relieved or exasperated that when they do marry, they are planning to live with us. Unfortunately, on this particular day, M declared that he had decided to marry his baby sister instead--a declaration that left Ella crestfallen until I assured her that M would not be able to marry his sister because it's not allowed. I seriously do not remember thinking about boys in this way until I was 13.

This all leaves me feeling a little...worried. I can barely handle Ella at 4.5. Something tells me that Ella at 15 might just kill me.